Some people enjoy reading novels; others, historical accounts; but I like to read the daily newspapers.  Being a writer with an active imagination, I find there are many stories to be found hidden between the lines in obituaries. While some may think this gruesome, I think of it as appreciating each person’s mini-biography, which is usually composed by close relatives who must weigh each fact to be included or omitted.  In some cases it is one of the few times the deceased’s name is seen in print. There is a certain pride in every life story as shown in an obit.  

Here are excerpts from some that were found in an out-of-town newspaper lately.  (not anyone you may know). The facts are there; one just has to piece together the “rest of the story,” as radio commentator Paul Harvey used to say.  But it can also be a mystery that leaves the reader with a lot of questions.    

Recently there were two obituaries with the same last name.  On closer reading one finds that they are a mother, 37, and her daughter, 11. The beautiful sentiment expressed by the family is “She will enter the gates of Heaven hand in hand with her daughter, Hannah.”  Can you picture that and get comfort from that thought?  Nevertheless, one wonders how and why.

I try to put myself in the shoes of a parent who has lost a young child.  “Why does this have to happen?” we ask ourselves. Obituaries for children often refer to them as having become “angels,” which is consoling, but the pain in a mother’s heart goes on forever.

While the very young tug at my heart, the very old — those in their late 80s and 90s — also get my attention. I am drawn to read about the elderly and their accomplishments. Many had served in World War II and returned home to take up life where they had left off, finishing their education, raising a family, and working for 50 years. I hope someone has recorded these life stories in detail so that they can be admired for their perseverance, both in combat and in the years afterward. 

I like to read the list of activities, accomplishments, and achievements.  “She enjoyed walking a mile every day” tells me activity can equal longevity.  “He was a Little League coach for 20 years” shows he did it unselfishly long after his own children had moved on.  “He enjoyed fishing and hunting, and leaves his dog, Beau, to mourn his loss,” paints a picture of man and his dog and long hours spent together.

One can sense how loved a person has been by the choice of adjectives and verbs used:  “passed away peacefully surrounded by his loved ones”… “went to meet his Savior”… or “after a four-year battle with cancer.” There are few that choose to use the word, “died.” It seems too final, too harsh. The loss is real, and a part of each of the survivors will be buried along with the deceased.

What will your obituary say? Have you ever thought about it? What will be the “Story of Your Life” in 100 words?

 

JULAINE DEARE SHCHEXNAYDER is retired after a varied career in teaching and public relations and has been a member of a Life Writing class since 2007. Her email address is julaines14@gmail.com