The value of friendship

Published 6:00 am Friday, October 13, 2017

Have you ever had friends that upon seeing their name pop up on a text or call, just bring a smile to your face? You can’t wait until the next time you see them even though it might be a long work week or more before the next fun  ngagement when you know they will be there?

New friendships have a lot of the same elements as young love — anticipation,  hope, joy, waiting, discernment, hope — did I say that again? Yes, hope — will this friendship last?

Since the measuring rod for everything in a Christian’s life should be scripture, we can take a look at friendship by starting with the fruit of Holy Spirit. Love, joy, peace, kindness, long-suffering (I never liked that one), faithfulness, gentleness, goodness and self-control, against such things there is no law. Yet, this isn’t a formula for friendship. That’s still something different, unique.

The virtues we strive for with any relationship — personal or professional, in reality as Christians are gifts given to us. We just have to learn to unwrap them and keep them handy with use — especially in friendships.

James 4:4 reads: “You are not faithful to God. Don’t you know that to be a friend of the world is to hate God? So anyone who chooses to be the world’s friend becomes God’s enemy,” New International Readers Version, but The Message is great, especially with verses 3 and 5.

I don’t want God as my enemy, but I have friends who are worldly.

Do I leave them behind? Sometimes.

Bad company corrupts good character. God is a jealous God (verse 5) and we wonder why we don’t receive what we ask for in prayer (verse 3).

King Saul’s son Jonathan and David were best of friends, a bond beyond blood that held them together into the second generation when King David cared for Jonathan’s son long after his friend’s death.

Job had three friends that were quick to accuse and admonish him, finding fault and debating when compassion and love would have soothed Job’s physical and emotional pain much quicker — ah, many are the lessons still to be learned from Job and his friends.

Acceptance in spite of imperfection, unconditional love and a common bond. Isn’t that what we all want from friendship? To have friends, requires being one. They don’t just happen, they take time and attention.

Speaking of friendships — you know Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had a bond that would never be broken. They had a shared experience that no other person on earth would ever understand.

Add the fourth in the furnace, God, and these three friends would never be the same.

I once drew a bulls-eye to show the relationships Jesus had. The inner circle did not include all 12 of the disciples, rather those who went with him on the mount of transfi guration, Peter, James and John. We don’t hear much about James, but he was there, chosen for such a time. Then there were Martha and Mary, sisters of Lazarus, a special friend who suffered much to be the friend of Jesus.

Friendship requires more than sharing happy times. Standing in times of trouble is important.

Being real and accepting one another in spite of disappointments may not  always be pleasant, but in the long run, deep kinship remains.

There just are not enough hours in the day to cultivate the friendships I’d like to make — so like a butterfly I flit — enjoying the fragrance of each budding bloom. We are so briefl y on this earth, every moment choices are made. Whenever I can introduce my Best Friend to someone who doesn’t know Him, well, that’s time well spent. It also helps eliminate activities contrary to our common interest — loving one another. That’s the best soil for friendships to grow.

VICKY BRANTON is Teche Life editor of The Daily Iberian.