Little Debbie is the devil.

I arrived at the realization that the famed cookie and snack company behind such delicious treats as Zebra Cakes, Swiss Rolls, Chocolate Cupcakes, Oatmeal Cream Pies, Fudge Rounds, Star Crunch, Cosmic Brownies, Nutty Bars and Honey Buns is actually the treacherous work of none other than Satan. And that iconic logo of the smiling red-headed girl on the packaging is actually the Mark of the Beast.

You might be asking yourself, how did I come to this stunning revelation that could very well be a future adventure of Robert Langdon, the protagonist of Dan Brown’s popular fiction thriller series. No, I didn’t have a revealing fever dream or vision or speak to God.

I simply came to this conclusion because of what happened one night a few weeks ago in the break room.

My dinners at work usually consist of heating up some of my favorite dishes of my wife like her smothered chicken and mashed potatoes or her chicken and sausage gumbo or crawfish etouffee or white beans and sausage— usually over heaping piles of rice.

If I am not shoveling spoonful after spoonful of my wife’s cooking into that big old mouth of mine, I have been told that I eat like I am in prison, then I will go and grab a greasy burger meal, super-sized of course, from a fast food restaurant.

That all changed almost a month ago.

You see, my wife and I decided it was time to be serious about our health and go on a diet. Gallons of water replaced the sugary soft drinks. Fruits, vegetables and egg whites were substituted for carb-heavy side dishes and snacks. White bread was given the boot. We essentially bought stock in grilled chicken and baked fish.

All in all, the process has worked as I have lost nearly 20 pounds in a month. Additional walks around the neighborhood with the dog have helped with this, as well.

But that particular night I walked into the break room to eat my dinner — I faced a daunting challenge.

There, resting on one of the tables, was an entire box of Honey Buns.

Now, mind you these Honey Buns had just recently expired, so they weren’t exactly fresh by anyone’s standards. But, let me tell you that in my experience if you open them up and put them in the microwave for like six to eight seconds, they are amazing.

There I stood mesmerized by the box of pastries, akin to the bad guys who couldn’t look away from the ark of the covenant in “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” Even though they may have been still sealed in their individual wrappers, it was as if I could smell them. My mouth began to water and I assure you it was not due to the steamed broccoli and grilled chicken that was being reheated in the microwave.

So did I cave in to the alluring temptation of those Little Devil … I mean Little Debbie snacks?

No. I did not, and I didn’t need to pray to God to help me either. I mean, what would God have replied to my prayer? “Really, Raymond? You need my help not to eat snacks? Come on now.”

No, I just simply turned my back to the box and ate my food and drank my two bottles of water.

But I have a confession to make.

As I sat there eating my healthy meal, I was imagining it tasted like those Honey Buns, or for that matter, any of those sinful products from Little Debbie.

So, I ask you are sinful eating thoughts better than gluttony? I sure think so.

Raymond Partsch III is the managing editor of The Daily Iberian.