Kim Graham

By Hailey Hensgens Fleming  |  Photos by Lee Ball

There’s something inherently valuable about things from a time long past. Be it for nostalgia, simple appreciation or investment strategies, few can deny the draw of an ornate old trinket, the smell of a book that’s occupied a shelf for decades or the rev of an old hot rod engine. Yes, it’s easy to appreciate something when it’s perfectly polished and brought back to life. However, it takes a very special individual to find those diamonds in the rough and recognize their worth despite the wear and tear of a former life.  Acadiana local, Kim Graham, has such an eye and gladly puts it to use reviving both antiques and personal narratives through her work as a personal property appraiser, author and Life Writing course instructor.

Although born to Grand Coteau natives, Graham spent most of her childhood in Conroe, Texas surrounded by her five older siblings. It wasn’t until her freshman year of high school that her parents happily moved them back home to Lafayette where she attended Lafayette High School. It was there that Graham would meet her high school sweetheart and soon to be husband, Neil. They married shortly after and soon had a home bustling with four rambunctious boys. During those years at home, Graham made time to serve at the kids’ schools, her church and within the community as the Board President for the Acadiana Youth organization, which managed the children’s shelter, home for at-risk girls and home for single young mothers. As her children grew, however, Graham found herself becoming more and more serious about an old interest that had followed her since childhood – antiques.

As a young girl, Graham recalls her fondness for finding old treasures, “I always had an interest in antiques. I’d always find them and, in fact, one of my mentors was a lady in Conroe and when I was a little girl I’d go to auctions with her.” Even later, as a young bride on a tight budget, Graham found her hobby to serve her well. “Nobody had any money, so I’d go pickin’. I’d refinish things and the old stuff was always better anyway,” she laughs.

Graham spent a few years doing antique shows and renting booths in larger stores, but soon, the opportunity presented itself to open a store of her own. “There was a ‘clean up’ space,” she recounts. “If we cleaned it up good, we could get a good rent. So, I did that and that was my first shop.” Even though she already knew all she could about spotting valuable antiques, Graham turned to her old mentor for help learning the business. “I called up my mentor and I asked her, ‘Mrs. Hines, will you help me do this?’ and she said, ‘Kim, come on down here. I’ll show you how to buy a spoon for a dollar, shine it up and sell it for ten,” she smiles.

For the decade that followed, Graham spent her time as an antiques dealer, running a storefront that specialized in old furniture and other home decor. It was during this time that she decided to add another notch to her belt and pursued her appraiser certification from the University of Maryland. Because Graham had been around the block a time or two, taking the next step was a natural fit.  “When you’re a dealer you just learn from experience. You’ve seen it so many times before and the more you’re around it the more natural it comes,” she tells. “I can name plates faster than I can name my grandchildren!” she admits with a laugh. Even when she decided to close her storefront in the late 90’s, Graham continued to follow her life-long passion and has pursued her work as a personal property appraiser to this day.

It would seem that across her life’s stage, Graham always took pleasure in restoring old items and giving them new life. From refurbishing antiques and old furniture to restoring an Antebellum Home in St. Martinville, a project that she and her husband undertook after becoming empty nesters, Graham always had a knack for bringing things back from the past. This talent was only further refined on her students when she began teaching Life Writing, or memoir writing, classes for senior adults.

Making the transition from expert appraiser to writing course instructor was easier for Graham than one might think.  In addition to her lifelong hobby of antiquing, writing and journaling was a pastime she’d enjoyed ever since she was a young girl. In fact, although she graduated with a nursing degree from Louisiana State University, Graham admits she should’ve known nursing was not her thing when she’d gladly write her classmates’ papers if they’d start IVs for her in exchange. She admits wryly, “They’d have a paper to write and I’d say, ‘Let me write it!’”

As a lifelong learner, Graham made her way back to the college classroom, picking up extra English courses to indulge her interest, and found herself in a life-writing course in need of a teacher.  “I was taking the class myself and I enjoyed it,” she tells. “The teacher was working through UL and had to leave for family reasons and she asked me if I’d take over the class.” Although she’d never taught a class before, Graham knew a little bit about what she was getting into and welcomed the opportunity. Likening it to participation in her choir at Holy Cross Catholic Church she laughs, “I just joined the choir but I can’t sing! It doesn’t mean I’m great, but I’m willing!”

With little to go on except some advice and prior experiences, Graham dove in headfirst. She slowly got to know the adults who occupied the classroom’s seats through writing prompts that inspired them to tell about their memories and past experiences. With only a few classes under her belt, Graham knew she was exactly where she needed to be. “There’s a story behind every antique and behind every one as well. That’s what made me love my writing classes so much,” she says. “We all have these incredible stories and sometimes I have to just pull out what it is. They’re just very interesting people.”

Pleased with the semester’s outcome, Graham took on a few more courses in Lafayette before eventually making her way down to New Iberia. Only six weeks into the semester, however, she and her family received devastating news.

Graham’s youngest son, Mark, had been deployed to Baghdad with the 1st Battalion, 2-5 Cavalry Division to begin what was soon to be known as “the surge.” On March 2, 2007, Mark’s vehicle was hit by a roadside bomb leaving him critically injured. He was stabilized and transported to Brooks Army Medical Hospital in San Antonio, Texas where he lived long enough for his wife, brothers, parents and family to tell him goodbye.

As anyone would expect, the days, weeks and months that followed were some of the most painful and difficult she and her family had ever endured. Amid ensnarling questions of “Why?” and “What was the meaning of it all?” Graham found answers through her faith and, surprisingly, through her life writing course as well. In her book, “A Song in the Night,” which Graham published in 2012 as a tribute to her son, she recounts that seeing the ripple effect of the experiences written about by her students helped her better understand how her son’s life, and even his death, had more purpose than she could ever imagine.

She writes:

“Everyday I saw signs, heard stories and learned how Mark’s life touched many in ways that I couldn’t have imagined. His death and service sparked pride in our community. His love for his darling wife brought couples together, and gave them a deeper sense of purpose and a wisdom about life. Together, people across the country were on their knees praying for this young soldier. We heard story after story of people who hadn’t prayed in years, bow their heads in reverent prayer. Just that leaves Mark’s footprint forever. He’s still giving and we’re still receiving. The huge ripple Mark left feels more like a tsunami!”

In a way, Graham’s life writing course and her students, many of whom have remained in the class for several years, helped pull her through those darkest days and she counts it a privilege and joy to be among them. In the years since, she has continually worked with them to produce and refine their own memoirs, forever preserving their place in time. Culminations of student work have been published in books like, “Between These Pages,” and more than 20 of her students have gone on to produce and publish their own books and novels ranging from personal memoirs to poetry and young adult fiction to a series of Christian adult books.

In the wake of tragedy, Graham was presented with another opportunity to breathe new life into her circumstances. In addition to her work as an appraiser and expert witness for the courts as well as Life Writing instructor extraordinaire, Graham has also found community among those known as Gold Star Moms. Having walked through what she has, she often speaks to these moms who have also lost children in military service, imparting insight and hope to others as it was so generously given to her when she needed it most.

Yet, despite a full plate, family takes first priority in Graham’s life and after a few moments spent with her you know it to be true. Few comments or stories can be told without the mention of her sons, daughter-in-laws or 8 grandbabies who adoringly call her, “Cookie” or “Cook.” “I’m very happy!” she confides. “I just enjoy life very much and I enjoy my family a lot,” she adds.

Of course, life is forever changed after the loss of a child, but Graham has found comfort, purpose and even joy in her “new” normal. Just as she finds value in items others would deem invaluable, Graham has learned to see the worth in all of her life experiences, both good and bad. Recognizing each as a ripple, one story simply builds into another to create what will become the greater narrative of her life  – one she hopes will some day be as impactful as those she’s encountered along the way.