This current special project of mine is probably the most important I’ve ever undertaken.

Working on my autobiography is something that I’m doing methodically. It is the ultimate seminar in introspection. The genesis of this endeavor began a year ago when I started writing down events, anecdotes, and personal relationships that in varying ways affected my life. And in order to have a clear and balanced structure, I’m following an outline with these headings: “Joy,” “Danger/Trauma,” “Careers,” “People” (family, friends, and strangers), “Intimacies,” “Journeys” (both as a tourist and working abroad), and “Aspirations.”

Incidentally, early on I decided that whatever was mentioned — both good and bad — had to have the solid foundation of complete candor. There is no place here for boasting, vanity, or any outright falsehoods because that nonsense would only contaminate my work and, in my opinion, diminish the heartfelt spirit of my thoughts.

I’ve also chosen to include instances where at times I’ve acted disrespectfully, particularly in regards to family and close friends. Hurtful words directed to them is painful for me to recall now but mentioning these episodes are necessary if I’m to paint a complete portrait of myself. And although I’m already remorseful, just by acknowledging my occasional bad behavior can I hope to find true inner peace.

My designations for the different chapters pretty much speak for themselves. In “Joy,” for example, I mention my feelings when I drove a car for the first time, graduated from the university, or the occasions I embraced my parents after my return home from long stays abroad.

One dual heading, however, has very similar themes but contains subtle differences as well.

In “Danger,” I explore the numerous times when my mortality stared me in the face. In one instance, while flying from Bangkok to New Delhi, our airliner developed a serious engine problem forcing us to make an emergency landing in Kolkata. Unfortunately, some passengers sustained injuries. In another situation, at a fiesta for a local mayoral candidate in Barberena, Guatemala, an assailant fired at the politician, wounding him before the would-be assassin was killed by bodyguards. A woman a few feet from me was struck in the head by a stray bullet. There was mayhem everywhere.

Grief and its lingering effects are the main themes in “Trauma.” Here, I mostly discuss the passing of loved ones. The continuing sorrow of their absences remains in varying degrees. I find that time lessens the pain but does not remove it entirely.

I delve into my thoughts about family and friends in “People.” But there have also been total strangers who have shown me respect and generosity at unexpected times. In one unforgettable instance, while visiting the remote archaeological site of Mayapan in Mexico’s Yucatan, I asked the custodian if there might be a restaurant nearby. After replying that the nearest town was kilometers away, he consulted with his wife and in a few moments they had set a place for me at their little table inside their humble thatched hut. We ate black beans, plantains and squash with a mango for dessert. When I offered to pay they refused saying that I was their guest. I can still see their kindhearted faces today. Other gentle souls like them have frequently touched my heart.

There’s no doubt that my autobiography, a work in progress, is not merely a collection of sentiments, people, places, and events that have entered into my existence. It is a deeply personal memoir … the libretto of my life.

It is who I am.

O.J. GONZALEZ is a native and resident of Jeanerette. He graduated from USL in printmaking and photography and his photographs have appeared in publications in Louisiana, Alaska, Canada, New Zealand and England.