You would never know it from talking to her, but Ainsley Britain was not always the confident person that she projects today. After a couple of traumatic experiences, she was forced to reassess herself and rediscover her faith – and her confidence. Now an author, speaker and certified enneagram coach, (we’ll get to that) she is passionate about helping young adults embrace their confidence, date healthier, and discover (or rediscover) their identity in Christ. Firmly planted in her beliefs, the 32-year-old is building a legacy of faith for younger people.

Her story is a reminder of how someone’s image of themself can be shaken or lost in a single moment or with a passing comment. The Lafayette native grew up going to church and volunteering in youth programs, searching for a calling that would fulfill her. Strong female role models instilled confidence in her as a young girl. In high school she was crowned Miss Teen Lafayette and Miss Teen Louisiana within a couple weeks apart. The pageant program further accelerated her understanding of who she was and that she could make an impact in the world. 

Her calling would be affirmed for her one day while sitting in her high school chapel watching a group performance. “God told me that I was going to be working with young adults and operating in my gifting,” she shares. Ten years later she became a high school minister, which she still considers to be “one of her best job descriptions.”

“One of the things I noticed working with students, was that many of the things they couldn’t find the strength to take action on came from a lack of confidence – just a blanket of self-doubt,” she observes. “Limited beliefs become our truths. I focused on teaching them to believe in who they were and who God made them to be.”

While working towards her degree in mass communications at Belmont University in Nashville, Britain began dating a best friend that evolved into a relationship she describes as toxic, eventually turning verbally and physically abusive. While she admits that she didn’t realize it was abusive until three years into it, she says in hindsight, “It was several little instances of settling, and my self-worth getting slowly chipped away.” Britain says she was like many women who enter or stay in relationships out of shame, insecurity or fear of being alone, which often causes them to lower their standards or expectations. “What they find are men who don’t treat women as they deserve to be treated, men they would have told their friends to avoid,” she maintains.

Through her own experiences – some not mentioned here – she became confused about who she was, and it came down to rediscovering her faith. “I raced to the church,” she recalls about hitting rock bottom. “I put my spirit disciplines in place and imagined standing next to God, reintroducing myself to Him. I had a different perspective of who He was and who I was. From that point on, I rediscovered my faith and made better dating choices.”

After college she embarked on a career in writing and penned her first book, Hearts and Rockets, a self-published devotional for young women. 

Finally reaching a point of self-confidence again and wanting to help young adults not only find their confidence, but to keep it and share it with others, she began her podcast Wild Confidence in 2020. “I want to help them shed shame, move forward and be consumed with and radiate a wild confidence. The more confident you are in who God says you are, the wilder and freer you can be.”

The show provides conversations with people who have impacted Britain’s self-worth. It speaks to men and women about identity as it relates to dating, friendships, racial injustice, worship, vocation and fulfilling their purpose. With currently just over 100,000 downloads of her podcast, followers include Grammy- and AMA-winning singer Lauren Daigle, singer Lauren Alaina, “The Bachelor” contestant Ben Higgins and country singer Russell Dickerson. Airing on Wednesdays, the new season launches April 5 and runs through June 28. 

Last year Britain delved deeper into conversations about removing shame in the dating game with her book “Don’t Date a BooBoo Dude.” What’s a boo boo dude, you ask? “It’s a guy who doesn’t treat you how you deserve to be treated,” she asserts. “It encompasses a wide range of behaviors, from not calling and leaving you wondering where you stand with him to actual abuse. I experienced all of that.” 

The humorous title aside, the book tackles some scary, honest conversations about abusive and toxic relationships, narcissism, rape, sexual assault and domestic violence. It’s a compilation of her own notes of relationship dos and don’ts. 

“One of the things I tell women to do after a breakup is to write down all the bad things,” she says. “If you keep reminding yourself how you were treated poorly, then you won’t want to go back to that kind of relationship.” The cycle of abuse is not exclusive to women. While Britain speaks to them from her personal experiences, she clarifies that women can be boo boos, too. In fact, not tolerating unacceptable behavior extends to friendships and family relationships, as well.

In a desire to help others not only recognize their behaviors but get to their root cause, Britain became a certified enneagram coach. As she describes it, “An enneagram is like a map or GPS to the ‘why’ behind our behaviors and actions. It focuses on our motivations over our behaviors within our personality.” 

A free assessment online identifies nine behavior types, like the helper, the achiever, and the peacemaker. No surprise that Britain is a “helper” personality that wings into an “achiever” type.  Being a helper has made her aware of her ability to read clients, which is useful in discerning their personality type. She shows them how their personality can impact their relationships, friendships and aid in a better understanding of themselves. In the same way, she conducts corporate workshops helping businesses create harmonious workplaces. 

Britain has become such an advocate for the enneagram’s effectiveness in unlocking potential growth that she’s in the process of writing a book that will share the knowledge she’s gained in the three years of helping people. She’ll be revealing more about the upcoming book at a live streaming of her podcast during a mother/daughter brunch at Preservation Bar & Grill in New Iberia on April 1, starting at 10:30, as part of the annual Books Along the Teche literary festival. (Tickets are required to attend.) 

Working from home in Baton Rouge, alongside her husband Justin and one-year-old daughter Goldie, Britain is happy to report that she is unapologetically and confidently herself. 

She says that if she had to live through all of her experiences again, she would. “Because, it has equipped me to help the next girl avoid the mistakes I made and lessons I learned. Everything I do is for the next girl,” she says smiling. ■