It was Saturday night and I had nowhere to go and nothing to do. My little mutt Chicory and I settled into the couch with a cheap bottle of Trader Joe’s Merlot and the remote control.

“What are we in the mood for, Chick? Action, comedy, horror?” But Chicory was already fast asleep. I started clicking through the channels, hoping to find something of interest. When I got to one of the sappy movie channels, I recognized the scenery, so I paused. This movie was obviously filmed in my hometown of New Orleans. It was a rom com but the only thing that was funny was the horrible Southern drawl the lead actor was speaking in. And it wasn’t just him – the whole cast had adapted that horrid accent! 

As I watched a man drive from the central business district right into a road alongside a bayou, my ears were assaulted with phrases such as, “How is your Momma and them?” and “What are you guys doing?” as he talked on the phone. “C’mon, dude, it’s y’all, not you guys!” I yelled at the television. “Chicory, I bet even you know it’s, ‘How’s ya mom and dem?!’ But Chicory barely flinched at the sound of her name.

In the middle of my rant against the movie, the telephone rang. I paused the flick so I could get back to my tirade in a bit.

“Hello!” I guess I was still feeling agitated.

“Whoa! What’s got you riled up?” It was my best friend, Allie.

“Oh…nothing really…sorry! What’s up? I didn’t want to explain to her what had irritated me. She already knew so many of my idiosyncrasies, such as my aversion to grammatical and spelling errors, or how I hate when people dress their pets up, and she still chose to be my friend. I didn’t want to give her any more ammo than necessary.

“Trish, Deanie, and I were going to head down to check out the new bar on Third Street and want you to come with us.”

“Thanks for the invite, but I think I am going to stay in tonight.”

“Evie Fontenot! You aren’t staying at home on a Saturday night for another of your artsy-crafty projects, are you?!” Allie knew me a little too well! I was always inspired to try the latest craft craze, from painting and photography to beading and needle arts. Most of my ideas seemed so much better in my head than in the real world but that didn’t stop me.

“No, nothing like that. I got sucked into a movie and figure I will just chill tonight.”

“Well, record the movie, get dressed, and come with us!” Allie wasn’t good at taking no for an answer.

“Nah, I’m just not feeling it. Plus, I have already had a couple of glasses of wine, and I will probably be asleep before the movie ends.”

“You always were a lightweight! Let me know if you change your mind!” Okay, so I hadn’t even finished my first glass of wine. A little white lie wouldn’t hurt.

As soon as I hung up, I slipped back into the movie. I just didn’t get it! The movie was filmed in New Orleans – couldn’t they get a feel for the true accent instead of the syrupy sweet drawl the whole cast was infected with? 

When I moved from New Orleans to Baton Rouge, I have to admit there was some culture shock. Phrases that we always used back home left locals here wide-eyed and confused. In New Orleans, an inspection sticker for a car was a brake tag and the median on a boulevard was a neutral ground. I also had to get used to people assuming that I would say things like “making groceries” instead of going shopping or that I would say “berl” and “zink” instead of boil and sink. The two cities are less than 100 miles apart, but sometimes the differences were much wider. 

I spent the next hour joyously mocking every word uttered and every movement executed by the characters in the movie. I was almost sorry to see it end! As the closing credits were rolling and I was getting ready to surf the channels again, an announcement came up that caught my interest.

“The Leisure Time Movie Channel is looking for new scripts! Send us your feel-good story with a happy ending! The winner will have their movie produced and will act as an advisor on set!”

My creative juices started flowing. I was practically salivating! I loved to write – I even took a scriptwriting class in college. There was always a formula to the movies on this channel. Girl moves away from her hometown; girl returns home for the Winter Festival or something like that; girl runs into boyfriend from her past; girl and ex have some friction but eventually fall back in love and live happily ever after. 

My script was set in Louisiana. Since it was almost Mardi Gras, Camille Boudreaux – girl who moved away – will return to her small town in Louisiana for a Mardi Gras ball. It’s a costume ball so Camille has no clue that the man she is having a wonderful time dancing with is none other than Joseph St. Pierre, her high school love interest who she had been carefully avoiding since her return home. It would play out like a Cinderella story. Once Camille finds out who the mystery man is, she makes a hasty exit before he can learn her identity. To put a modern-day spin on the story, while racing out of the ballroom, she drops her cell phone, which Joseph finds. Eventually of course, Joseph and Camille come face-to-face, and they both realize that they still have feelings for each other.

I spent all my spare time in the next week writing and rewriting my screenplay before I was finally satisfied enough to email it to The Leisure Time Movie Channel. I was determined to keep the people, places, and things – and especially the accents – authentic to my home state! There was no Southern drawl in my script! There was nothing to do now but wait with crossed fingers. Even if I didn’t win, I was pleased that I finished yet another creative venture.

A couple of weeks later, Mardi Gras season was well underway in New Orleans. Allie and I headed down for the big weekend before Fat Tuesday. It had become a tradition for her and I to go to the Krewe of Bacchus parade. It always had a celebrity grand marshal, and the beauty of the floats never disappointed.

“Okay, let’s find a good parking space in a place where we can get out easily once the parade is over.” I was the practical one.

“Evie, I just want to find a spot where I can get a good picture of the grand marshal! He’s one of my favorite actors!” Allie had her own priorities.

We found a parking lot that wasn’t charging a fortune and scurried to St. Charles Avenue just in time for the start of the parade. Allie and I were having a ball. She got the perfect picture of her celebrity crush. We were getting bombarded with beads, and no, we didn’t shout, “Throw me somethin’, mister!” even once. Finally, some Bacchus doubloons were raining down on us and I really wanted one for my collection. As every New Orleanian knows, you don’t try picking one up off the ground without first stepping on it. As I was attempting to step on one close to me, a man was also trying to get his foot on the same doubloon. Our feet collided but he was victorious and claimed the gold-colored coin. I wasn’t expecting the man to be a gentleman but after he retrieved the doubloon, he handed it to me. I was shocked. 

“Thank you so much!” I exclaimed while looking only at the prize in sight, not the man who belonged to the hand.

“Evie? Evie Fontenot?” There was something familiar about the voice. I looked up and immediately recognized David Broussard, who I dated our senior year of high school. He looked the same, just a little older…and even better, I must say. I stood there for a moment with my mouth wide open. Once I got over the initial shock, we started making small talk.

“When I came home for Mardi Gras, I sure didn’t expect to run into anyone I knew, especially in this crowd!” he said.

“Came home? Where do you live now?” I was feeling just a touch disappointed. I thought it might be nice to get reacquainted. The only reason we broke up after high school is because we both went away to college hundreds of miles apart and knew it just wouldn’t work. Imagine my surprise at his response.

“I recently moved to Baton Rouge for my job.” ■

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More Literary Festival Winners

The addition of a short story competition for the Books Along the Teche Literary Festival garnered entries from enthusiastic writers everywhere. Margaret Schlaudecker’s winning story, “No Drawl, Y’all,” won first place, while second and third place honors went to Rodney Butch Bailey (“Fast Like Me”) and Anne Simon (“Southern Drawl”), respectively. 

Also in connection with the festival, area students in grades four through six were invited to en`ter a poetry contest. First place went to Anna-Katherine Popp, a 4th grader at Catholic High School. The remaining honors were: Second Place, Amelia Hankenhof, Highland Baptist Christian School, 5th grade; Third Place, Nicolaus Laviolette, Highland Baptist Christian School, 6th grade; and Honorable Mention, Kate Derise, Catholic High School, 4th grade.