“If at first you don’t succeed, try try try again.” The OSLO Accords, CAMP DAVID…ALL the previous attempts have obviously failed or never even got off the ground. It is now incumbent upon myself, the MOST serious candidate for POTUS (AKA Leader of the World), to solve this riddle ONCE and for ALL.

Nothing less than a firm hand coupled with non-veiled threats and exceedingly harsh penalties will bring finality to this PESKY business for now and evermore. The following outline followed with fleshed-out details for all to see and do is the product of extensive soul-searching, education myself to see ALL sides and just flat-out asking myself “What would Einstein do?”

Obviously the NUMBER ONE priority is to stop, put an end to, QUIT it already!, ‘I’m telling if you don’t!’,

ENOUGH already!, ‘Listen to ME!!!’ and Cease firing, bombing, missiling. droning…moaning…groaning at each other! DO you hear me?? That is NUMBER ONE! UNO!…Got it??

NUMBER TWO is not so simple, and I expect a few objections…probably from just about everybody and anybody too. P.S., I don’t care, just DON’T,..I ‘m demanding it in every way, shape and form.

IT is the ONLY way to a) bring all the parties together and b) unite the World by creating UNIVERSAL OBJECTION to the SAME thing. What must be done is to destroy completely, annihilate, smash, smoosh, mush and bury Jerusalem and all the stuff under it…gonzo!!! WHY you ask?

Without that place (that EVERYONE) deems holy on Earth, we will have nothing left there to fight about, both now and in the future…a ‘gone pecan.’…just forgetaboutit! Many will/might think this idea is insane, but is it? NOPE, it’s a vital piece of the solution puzzle for WORLD-PEACE.

Comment cards and letters voicing objections will be received, opened, read and promptly ignored. I am NOT going to stand down on this. And, if you think about it, just how much money can be made from selling the artifacts to fund part THREE of my plan?

The third part, NUMBER THREE, is the easiest of all. Move all the NON-JEWISH peoples living ‘from the river to the sea’…ALL non-Jews…and relocate them halfway around the world. Build new places of worship, hospitals, schools, housing, stores and foos-ball stadiuns in a remote corner of the Earth…far, far, far away from everyone else. They are not going to be good neighbors anyhow, so why give them any? They can start over from scratch and so can Israel! They can do whatever they want to themselves and we’ll toss in a few SQUAD members to boot!

Some MINOR suggestions of mine follow:

ALL parties must attend Hebrew School, Catholic School, Muslim School…etc., and attain a D average to graduate. Also, a graduate program in the School of Hard Knocks will be offered (optional.)

The PLAN will be enforced and agreed to by: the U.N., the NFL, The AFL-CIO/TEAMSTERS, the MIDDLE-EAST BLOC, China, Africa, Europe, the WESTERN Continents, HBO and Disney LLC.

Just keep this in mind folks; If you really want to do something…JUST DO IT!

Richard Phillips

New Iberia