Competitive eating is a sport, or is it just plain gross?

Published 2:00 pm Friday, July 12, 2013

I’m more of a burger guy than hot dog eater. I’ve been served too many bad hot dogs, the kind where the wiener looks like it’s got more Red Dye No. 2 in it than meat, it’s been boiled in plain water, then plopped onto a dry white-bread bun. If you’re lucky there’s some ketchup or mustard or pickle relish around to try to make it edible.

Maybe my issue isn’t really with hot dogs, just those really plain, really boring, really rather tasteless ones that are all too common.

I’m guessing the hot dogs served at Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island in New York are better than those bad ones I’ve attempted to describe above.

But I imagine they’re served pretty plain, since this contest is about how fast you can eat a hot dog, not how good the hot dog tastes.

Joey Chestnut reportedly won his seventh Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, this year chowing down 69 hot dogs, one better than his own record set at a previous competition of 68.

Just eating 69 hot dogs in one sitting is amazing — actually kind of gross. But consider this is a timed event and Chestnut ate that many hot dogs in 10 minutes.

Think about it. Sixty-nine hot dogs in 10 minutes means he averaged eating 6.9 hot dogs every minute. Think about it a bit more. That 6.9 per minute pace also means he ate one hot dog every 8.7 seconds.

I suppose many of us could force ourselves to wolf down a hot dog in less than 10 seconds. There’d likely be a lot of swallowing, and a minimum of chewing, to get it down so quick.

But then consider Chestnut ate that first hog dog in less than 10 seconds, then another, and another, and another — 69 times in all.

Chestnut must really have a gift for hot dog eating or great technique. The second-place finisher managed “only” 51 hot dogs during the same time, right at 25 percent less.

Sonya Thomas won the women’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, defending her title, eating 36 and three-quarter hot dogs in the 10 minutes.

That’s still better than 3.6 hot dogs per minute, for 10 minutes straight. It’s also one hot dog roughly every 16 and a half seconds, 36 times straight.

A picture of Chestnut suggests he’s not a particularly big man. Thomas reportedly weighs 100 pounds, so she’s not big either.

Some have called this a “sport” but it’s more like a circus sideshow I think. What about you? Is Chestnut an athlete or a freak?

A story out of Shreveport in Monday’s Iberian reported on “Poo-Poo Butler” and his efforts selling fresh vegetables in that community.

I’m guessing Poo-Poo wasn’t his given name. Southerner’s love a good nickname and we’ve got plenty around here.

Son Daniel is working up in Oklahoma and took in a stray dog he’s named “Boo,” a somewhat common Cajun nickname or term of endearment, like, “Can I help you Boo?”

Daniel says Oklahomans didn’t get the same vibe from “Boo” as would most in South Louisiana.

They think the dog’s name has something to do with Halloween.

WILL CHAPMAN is publisher of The Daily Iberian.