‘You can’t get back what you gave’

Social media was abuzz Monday after a New Iberia man went screaming down Admiral Doyle Drive on a motorcycle, recklessly weaving in and out of oncoming traffic before finally riding his motorcycle into the local Walmart and cruising around the store.

Police finally detained Richard James Darby Jr. and brought him to Iberia Medical Center for evaluation. But this latest incident is not the first time Darby had acted out this way. It is instead the latest visible symptom of the post-traumatic stress disorder that his parents say has plagued him since his second tour in Iraq.

“I think he was asking to die,” said his father, Richard “Dickie” Darby Sr. “I think he was looking to commit suicide by cop. Why else do you race the wrong way down Admiral Doyle at rush hour?”

Darby Sr. and his wife, Toscha, were visibly upset as they spoke about their son’s torment. And as they spoke, eyes red from tears, they tried to find a reason for his latest outburst and the signs they missed in preventing it.

A profound effect

When the World Trade Center was attacked on Sept. 11, 2001, a 10-year-old Darby Jr. was watching along with millions of other Americans.

“When the World Trade Center fell, it had a profound effect on him,” the senior Darby said. “He always wanted to find a way to help.”

That chance came eight years later when Darby Jr., then 19, enlisted in the U.S. Army. His parents said that for first tour in Iraq as a medic, he was “proud to be there.” But after the second tour, things changed.

“We didn’t hear from him for six months,” his stepmother said. “We were waiting for a black car to drive up to tell us the worst had happened. When we did hear from him, it was out of the blue. He said we had to pick him up at the airport in Houston.”

According to Toscha, Darby Jr. had been in a mental facility prior to his return.

“His heart couldn’t take it,” his father said. “His mind was not the same.”

When his son returned, he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. In a report released last year, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs said that 18.6 percent — almost one in five — of deployed Afghan and Iraq veterans screened positive for PTSD.

Darby Jr. went through phases, his parents said, with some good periods and some dark times. But getting him to follow the regimen of prescription drugs to help keep those darker periods in check was a challenge. The family said it also is difficult to find help. Budget cuts have all but eliminated any sort of state mental treatment facilities, and there is no real local option for Veterans Affairs support.

“He’s an adult,” Darby Sr. said. “He said the medication made him feel funny, so he wouldn’t take it. He has never been a pill person. He always felt like he would go to sleep and wake up and it would be fine.”

That has not been the case since his return. Toscha Darby said she could tell when her stepson was in one of his darker episodes.

“I could tell just by looking at him,” she said. “He told me the story of one of his friends who took his place in a Humvee on a mission, and they were hit. He said he carried his friend for a mile to get him to an aid station.”

Toscha, crying, said her stepson just wanted someone to understand what he felt.

“I knew on his bad days he would come here,” she said. “He just wanted to be loved on.”

Triggers and symptoms

The last year has not been an easy one for their son, the Darbys said. He lost both of his grandfathers, men who they say Darby Jr. had looked up to. Additionally, he had been seeking work, but could not seem to accept success when he found it.

“It was almost like he was sabotaging himself,” Darby Sr. said.

Darby Jr. had gone to Austin last fall to spend time with a close friend when his stepmother got a call from him.

“He said he was coming home,” she said. “I was surprised. I thought he had just got there.”

Darby Jr. hired an Uber to drive him back to Louisiana, but that did not go as planned. He was having feelings of paranoia, saying that he thought the government was watching him. He later pulled a knife and ordered the driver out of the vehicle. Police eventually caught up with him near Longview, Texas, where he was arrested.

“Until last year, he had a clean record,” Darby Sr. said. “Not even a traffic ticket, I don’t believe.”

After that episode, he lived for a time with his sister in Baton Rouge, where he seemed to be doing better.

“He looked better,” Toscha Darby said. “He was starting to regain some weight.”

Two weeks ago, however, he returned to New Iberia to live with his birth mother.

“He left because she (his sister) would rein him in,” Toscha Darby said.

Moving forward

The senior Darby said he only wishes he would have acted sooner.

“We have had a lot of missed opportunities as a family,” he said. “Maybe we did fail him. Maybe if we pushed harder. But things would get better, he would seem on track. Then it would just fizzle out.”

Now, the family is hoping to find their son. Since he was arrested and placed on a physician emergency certificate hold, he has to serve 72 hours under observation until it is determined that he is not a danger to himself or others. Because he is an adult, the staff at Iberia Medical Center cannot tell them where he is or his status due to federal privacy restrictions.

“We don’t know if he is still there or if he has been sent somewhere else,” Toscha Darby said.

“Post-traumatic,” Darby Sr. said. “The traumatic part for us is right now. We know he needs help, but we don’t even know where he is. There’s been a lot of missed opportunities, by us, by the police in Texas and Shreveport.”

His frustration with the system that is supposed to provide a safety net for veterans boiled over.

“He fought for us here,” Darby Sr. said. “Now he can’t get help. You can’t get back what you gave. What we gave away we will never get back.”

Richard Darby Jr. drove a motorcyle into New Iberia’s Walmart on Monday, the latest visible symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder he’s suffered since serving his second tour in Iraq with the U.S. Army. His father and stepmother are hoping to find him help.

Some basic facts about post-traumatic stress disorder (also spelled posttraumatic stress disorder).

20: Percentage of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans who suffer from PTSD and/or depression.

50: Percentage of veterans with PTSD who do not seek treatment.

20: The number of veterans who die by suicide every day in the United States.

* — according to RAND Corporation studies.