Growing up, school uniforms were just not a thing. Bullying, now that was a thing.

I am pigeon toed and I spent most of my childhood hearing about it. My saving grace was I could hit a jump shot anywhere on the court. If I were in the gym, the basketball was winding up in the net.

In sports, we all picked on each other, but it was as part of a brotherhood. If an opponent were to use the same insults to one of our players that we used on each other, well, ring a bell because the pushing and shoving was on, and if it led to throwing fists, so be it.

Not everyone grows up with a pact among teammates to defend each other against verbal cruelty. Often, children step over the line between playful teasing and outright bullying. Some kids don’t even know such a line exists.

Earlier this week, we received a letter to the editor from a frustrated mom. Growing up, she was teased about her school uniform. More than 20 years later, she is finding herself in an even more frustrating state as her son is now also being bullied over his school uniform.

The impact of bullying led to a problem when I read her letter. She did not want to be identified. That’s against the rules. We can’t run a letter to the editor without also identifying the person who wrote the letter. Take a moment to think … she’s an adult who can’t bring herself to be identified because of the toxic impact bullying can have on one’s life even after having escaped school some 20 years ago.

Again, I can’t relate to the issue with school uniforms, it is not in my DNA. But I believe her personal story is important and many others can relate. So I got creative and told her I would honor her wishes and make her story a part of my column.

The problem was never clothing.

Right after the horrific Columbine school shooting, Louisiana changed its school policies about clothing and enacted a uniform policy. Convinced it would deter bullying or teasing, since we were all wearing the same thing, I went into it naively thinking the best.

(However) I was constantly ridiculed by my appearance because of my weight and the brand of shoes and uniforms I wore. I could not escape the “teasing.” I hid behind oversized hoodies in attempt to sink into myself, even in the summer.

Here we are, 22 years later, and my son is now in school. He has come home upset and crying for being teased about his shoes. HIS SHOES! We have not progressed in 22 years. Uniforms will never prevent bullying and/or teasing, which to me they are one in the same. 

The problem is and has always been – kids are cruel. We claim schools have a zero tolerance for bullying, but don’t consider “teasing” bullying because there is no threat of violence.

Parents now face many hurdles in uniforms.

First, cost. To constantly have to buy clothes for school and clothes for summer / weekends can get costly. Especially since the cost of uniforms continues to rise. Not to mention growth spurts having us scrounge to find uniforms midway through the school year. Finding them is one problem, the cost when it’s not “school shopping season” is another.

Second, shortage and availability. Midway through the school year after a growth spurt, I remember having to pay $60 just for more pants for my son. On top of the $80 I spent at the beginning of the year. Now, even when its back-to-school shopping, it can be hard to find any, enough, the right kind, or some for the price you can afford. Goodwill had a few options, but it was limited.

If we can mandate a dress code for uniforms, why not street clothes? Specific emblems, slogans, profanity, or revealing clothing banned and I am sure parents can use their common sense there. I have seen parents called for “dress code violations” because their daughter had curves and her shorts would land higher on her legs than other girls. Going up a size would make it too loose or baggy. They were nowhere close to “revealing,” but she was constantly in trouble because her body type made it hard to find uniforms that fit her correctly.

Some parents love the option of uniforms; some despise it and question why we even have it still. I am one of those parents that question it and would like these things addressed.

Why couldn’t there be a dress code that was fair, allowing uniforms OR street clothes to be worn to school? No trench coats, oversized hoodies, gang affiliation, profanity, politics, or hot topic issues. Nothing revealing bras, underwear, boxers, or stomachs. Cold shoulder shirts allowed for girls unless it shows bra. No crop tops. No flip-flops or crocs. Tennis or sandals allowed. Dresses must be long enough to bend over at waist and not show butt.

The point is, uniforms do not prevent teasing, bullying, school shootings or anything but making our kids feel limited on expressing themselves through fashion as well as making it harder financially on parents.

It has been 22 years; I think we need some progression on this issue.

(Michael D. Messerly is the Publisher of the The Daily Iberian and Acadiana Lifestyle Magazine. He can be reached at mmesserly@daily-iberian.com)